Here are 19 ways to help motivate people at home, work, and even socially. I was surprised to see how I had made many mistakes in being the parent to my teenage children. Begin by being honest with yourself, and don’t try to bluff your way through a given situation. Continue to learn and seek or reach out with humility, and you will find others who will want to assist. If you have a problem with someone, go directly to him/her, look him/her in the eye and say, “I have a problem and I would like to share it with you.” The soft approach and being fair, firm, and treating everyone with honesty, will get a truthful response. These 19 points were handed down to me by my father who did not have one grievance in almost 20 years running a department of over 60 employees:

1. Begin with praise and appreciation.
2. Call attention to mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing theirs.
4. Ask questions before giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise and encourage every improvement.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Never argue a point or directly tell a person he or she is wrong.
9. Admit you are wrong when you are.
10. Begin in a friendly way.
11. Get a positive response early.
12. Let the other person do most of the talking.
13. Let the other person think most of the ideas are his or hers.
14. Try to see the other person’s point of view.
15. Appeal to the high motives of other people.
16. Provide the other with a challenge.
17. Make the other person happy to do what you want him/her to do.
18. Criticize privately.
19. When in doubt, find out.

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